Dear Cloud Fellow Member Nine9 Releases Jonghyun's End Letter

Original Source (OSEN via Naver): 故SHINee Jonghyun, lastly missive of the alphabet released…"I am broken from the inside, I couldn't overcome the depression" 

She received permission from his trouble solid unit of measurement to unloosen his lastly letter. It was his lastly asking for her. 

(t/n: I think he was referring to the depression every bit a dissever being, similar the depression itself is a dissever identity)

I was broken from the inside. 

The depression that slow nibbled on me ended upwards swallowing me up

I couldn't trounce it.

I hated myself. I held onto dying memories together with fifty-fifty though I yelled at myself to acquire it together, in that location was no answer. 

If I can't unloosen the suffocation, it's meliorate to but stop. 

I asked, who tin sack have got responsibility of myself. 

Just you. 

I was completely alone.

Saying you're going to cease it is easy. 

Ending it is hard. 

I lived alongside that hardship upwards until now. 

You said I wanted to run away.

That's right. I wanted to run away. 

From myself.

From you.

You asked who was there. 

I said me. Again, I said it was me. And i time more, I said it was me.

I asked why I kept on losing my memories. It was because of my personality. I see. In the end, it's all my fault. 

I hoped for people to notice but no i knew. They've never met me together with hence of course of pedagogy they didn't know I existed. 

I asked myself why I was living. Just because. Just because. Everyone but lives.

If I asked, why you lot die, you lot would in all probability tell because you're worn out. 

I suffered together with contemplated. I have got never learned how to alter pestering hurting into joy.

Pain is but pain. 

I urged myself to non live similar that. 

Why? Why can't I fifty-fifty cease things the agency I desire to cease them?

I tried to discovery out why I was hurting. 

I knew every bit good well. I'm inwards hurting because of me. It's all my error together with because I'm worthless. 

Doctor, did you lot desire to hear these words?

No. I did null wrong. 

When they quietly blamed it on my personality, I idea it was together with hence piece of cake to live a doctor. 

It's fascinatingly foreign to meet why I'm inwards this much pain. People who are suffering fifty-fifty worse than me are living fine. People who are weaken than me are living fine. Maybe not. Amongst people who are alive, there's no i suffering to a greater extent than than me, no i who is weaker than me. 

But I was yet told to live.

When I asked hundreds of times, why I had to create that, it wasn't for me. It was for you. 

I wanted it to live for me. 

Please halt talking virtually things you lot don't understand. 

Asking me to figure out why I'm suffering. I've told you lot numerous times. Why I'm exhausted. Am I non allowed to live inwards this much hurting for that reason?  Does it demand to a greater extent than specific drama? Did you lot demand to a greater extent than of a story?

I already told you lot my story. Were you lot pretending to listen? What I tin sack overcome won't stay every bit scars. 

Maybe I wasn't cutting out to collide alongside the world. 

Maybe my life wasn't meant for it to live known to the residuum of the world.  

That's why everything was hard. It was difficult because of the colliding together with becoming known. Why did I select that. This is ironic. 

It's admirable that I held out upwards until now. 

What to a greater extent than tin sack I say. Just tell me that I did a proficient job. 

That this is proficient enough. That I went through a lot. 

Even if you lot can't smile, delight don't post me off alongside guilt. 

You worked hard.

You actually went through a lot. 

Bye.

1. [+10664, -134] Jonghyun-ah, proficient job. I pray that the house you're inwards is warm together with comfortable

2. [+7291, -120] I think it mightiness live a flake burdensome to tell you lot to live happy inwards that place. Good job. You went through a lot. 

3. [+7113, -96] Ha.... You must've idea together with hence many thoughts all alone.. My heart's actually torn.. I pray that you lot live good inwards that house without worrying virtually anything... May he residuum inwards peace.

4. [+5977, -118]  Good job. You actually suffered every bit good much. The 24-hour interval is cold, I promise you're warm inwards that place. I'm actually going to immature adult woman you.

5. [+5211, -116] I promise you're happy together with don't endure inwards heaven.. 

6. [+1757, -36] He must've had a actually intense depression.. I don't know what sort of doc he was seeing but if he had met a to a greater extent than supportive one.. We don't know all the details but it actually looks similar suffered yesteryear himself. My pump hurts.

Original Source (X Sports News via Naver): SHINee Jonghyun's lastly missive of the alphabet released "Depression swallowed me up...I wanted to run away"

1. [+5131, -38] You tin sack tell how depressed together with how much he was suffering but yesteryear reading the letter. This is actually sad. On screen, I only retrieve his brilliant grin but within he was actually suffering... I promise you lot acquire rid of your depression together with is happy inwards heaven, please.. In the midst of this, people who are leaving abhor comments to shred the fans' hearts, I promise you lot acquire punished.

2. [+3702, -29] Good work...you went through a lot...I promise you're at peace...

3. [+2864, -41] Jonghyun-ah, I'm sorry.. I couldn't empathise your pain... You actually went through a lot together with proficient work, I tin sack tell how much you lot were suffering.. You actually went through a lot

4. [+2562, -21] Thank you lot for your proficient work. You went through a lot. 

5. [+2130, -27] You went through a lot ㅠㅠ Jonghyun-ah, bye..